*The following fanfiction was written by Stacey Lannigan and can also be read on the AO3 website, as well as Wattpad*
It’s not the first time Scott McCall has faced death, although this certainly feels like it will be the last and it just so happens that the one person who can convince him to live is the very one he would die for…
Scott had never given much thought as to how he would die. Ironic, given how often he was in danger. Since he’d been bitten, a part of him had come to accept that his life was never going to be a long one; something or someone was going to cut it short and Scott was fine with that, so long as he at least died knowing that it would save those he loved.
“It’s called self-sacrifice, superheroes do it all the time! Terrorists, too.” Scott almost wanted to laugh as the memory of Stiles’s voice echoed in his mind and for a split second he could almost remember the night that he and Stiles had had the conversation. It had been around the time that Stiles, himself and Allison had been planning on sacrificing themselves in place of their parents. Odd that those times were just as dangerous as the present yet somehow simpler in hindsight and comparison…
The memory faded from Scott’s mind as his vision began to blur. He could see the high ceiling of the Beacon Hills library now, Theo having disappeared from sight. Scott felt a stab of panic as he wondered what would be in store for the others when he passed.
Somewhere beside him, or in the distance, he heard Mason groan and call Scott’s name and it was only when he could not see him that he realised his eyes were closed. His eyelids felt heavy, too heavy to open, so rather than obey Mason’s plea to open his eyes, he instead focused on how the pain seemed to be subsiding, noting how it felt somewhat different to the sensation of his body healing. He felt numb, almost like he was… Dying… He was dying…
The fact that it was now happening made Scott panic, threatening to overwhelm him. The panic was quickly joined by a wave of even more emotions: anger, betrayal, loss, sadness, fear, relief, exhaustion… So many emotions overcoming him that he felt as though he was drowning and unable to get to the surface for air. He tried to regain control over them by forcing himself to think of something happy but each time he tried he felt only dread: if he thought of Stiles, he couldn’t picture the look on his face as he left him standing in the rain; if he pictured his Mother, he could imagine only how heartbroken and alone she would be finding out he had died, Malia, Lydia, Kira, Liam, Mason… So many faces flashed through his mind as his sought desperately for something – someone – to comfort him.
The initial stab of pain remembering his lost love was weak in comparison to happiness which picturing her face brought him. He could remember her scent, her hair that she was forever tucking behind her ear, her warm brown eyes fixing him with such a breathtaking gaze, and her voice as she spoke his name…
“Scott.” He smiled to himself, too lost in the memory to realise just how clearly he had heard her voice. Almost as though she was there with him. “Scott, open your eyes.” He heard her voice again and, unlike when Mason had told him to, this time Scott found it surprisingly easy to oblige. Opening his eyes slowly, the first thing that Scott noticed was that he was standing in the middle of the Preserve – more specifically at the spot where he and Allison had met secretly on countless occasions. The second thing he noticed was that he was no longer injured, but in fact looked perfectly healthy and alive, yet a part of his brain was telling him that it simply couldn’t be the case. He had very little time to question what was going on until he realised, lastly, that he was not alone.
“Allison…?” Scott was afraid to blink in case the image of her before him disappeared but he had to blink several times to make sure that what he was seeing was real and each time he did she was still there. “Allison!” He couldn’t help but gasp and his feet pulled him forward towards her before he could stop himself – not that he tried to. He reached out, fully intent on wrapping his arms around her, and stumbled when he embraced nothing but air…
Staring down at his hands for a moment, Scott’s brow furrowed and he turned on his feet swiftly. Allison was still there, although the gentle smile that had been on her lips was now gone and her expression had turned sad.
“You can’t.” She said, shaking her head ever so slightly, “I’m dead, Scott.” She told him, as though that explained why he had been unable to wrap his arms around her just a moment ago.
“But so am I.” Scott argued, still trying to make sense of the situation. “Aren’t I?” He added as an afterthought. He couldn’t help but feel strangely disappointed if this was Heaven, and Heaven turned out to be an illusion which allowed him to spend the rest of eternity with Allison, then Scott wanted to be dead.
“Not yet.” Allison told him, moving forward and Scott succumbed to the temptation to reach out to her again, watching as his hand neared hers and seemed to pass right through. “Death isn’t as simple as you’d like to think. You’re not human. Right now your body will be healing itself, probably fast enough you’ll be able to be saved. It’s not uncommon for people to ‘come back from death’. It just depends on what happened there and what happens here.” She smiled, although Scott could still see the sadness which she was feeling in her eyes. Seeing Allison upset had always made his heart ache painfully but now, when he couldn’t even console her with a hug or any form of touch for that matter, it threatened to drive him to the brink of madness if he had to endure it much longer.
“What do you mean, what happens here ?” Scott asked, walking over to the edge of the Preserve and looking around for a moment. It was so peaceful here, even the sky was clear and dotted here and there with glittering stars like freckles on skin, the moon helped to illuminate his surroundings and was exceptionally bright, more so than normal and Allison… God, Allison looked so beautiful bathed in the moonlight, her skin almost glowing as shone down on them. She looked so real and this time Scott managed to stop himself from reaching out to her, reminding himself that he would only be met with disappointment and further grief.
“If you choose to stay.” Allison had appeared next to him, her eyes fixed on his face as though he was the only thing which she could see. “You have the choice, a perk of being supernatural. If you’re physical form there is able to heal in time and your body is… available to retake, so to speak, then you can return to it – if you choose to.”
“But if I go back then that means leaving here,” Scott started, his mind finally slowing enough and able to make sense of everything that was going on, “then that means that I can’t stay here. I can’t stay with you.”
“No, you can’t.” Allison said, her voice was soft but Scott could hear her stubbornness underlying her tone.
“I could.” Scott pointed out to her and the more he thought about it the more he wanted to – even if it meant being selfish and accepting his death. “I could choose not to go back, I could die too, I could be with you.”
“And leave the others behind?” Something flashed in Allison’s eyes and she fixed him with a stare that seemed to burn into him. “Scott, you couldn’t do that even if that’s truly what you wanted to do.”
“If I couldn’t do it then why am I here? Why are you here?” Scott asked, unable to stop himself from growing annoyed. How could death be so complicated? Wasn’t the twisted promise of death that it was so much simpler than life and the complications that came with having to live every day? Several minutes seemed to pass in which Allison merely watched him, almost curiously, as he stared at her awaiting a response.
“You know why I’m here.” She replied finally, her voice as even as her gaze and Scott wished that he could touch her, wished that he could lean down and kiss her lips again even just one more time.
“Because I love you.” The words escaped Scott’s lips before he could stop them, almost instinctively and he sighed, tearing his gaze away from her to look out from their spot in the Preserve to the rest of the town.
“Scott.” He heard her call for him again and he was sure he could hear her voice breaking but he didn’t look at her this time, almost scared that he would find her eyes on him and filled with tears. That would have been too much. This was already too much.
“Scott!” His head snapped up this time, not because his name had been called but because for a moment the voice which he had heard had not been Allisons. It had, in fact, sounded like his Mom. He looked around, almost wildly, for any sight of her although his brain told him that he would not see her.
“Your Mom’s found you.” Allison said, her tone sad once again.
“You heard her too?” Scott asked, stopping his search to turn his gaze upon her. Her eyes, although looking in his direction, seemed distant and Scott felt as though she was able to see through him, as though she was witnessing something far away, in another world almost… “Can you see her?” He pressed and his breath caught, his chest tightening, when Allison nodded.
“Your Mom and a boy.” Allison spoke again and Scott nodded, more to himself than to her.
“Mason.” He assumed outloud and he felt something in his chest once again which he assumed was a sudden burst of reverence towards Mason for having stayed. He was about to ask Allison what they were doing when he felt another twinge in his chest. Despite only being a small spasm, there was a force within it that was enough to knock the breath out of him.
“You Mom is saving you.” Allison told him when he stared at her with widening eyes.
“She’s–” Scott started but the throbbing in his chest only seemed to heighten and Scott guessed that his Mom was carrying out CPR on him, although he tried not to think about how desperate she would most likely be.
“Scott, you can’t stay here, you can’t move on, you have to go back.” Allison said, her tone urgent and the words leaving her mouth rapidly. “You need to go back and find Lydia, and fix things between you and Stiles and live, for me… ”
He wasn’t sure who was being pulled away from who but Allison seemed to be getting further away from him and Scott instinctively tried to fight against the invisible force which was driving them apart.
“Allison, I don’t know if I can do that. I can’t do that…” He breathed. He’d been fighting the invisible force for no more than a minute and he felt exhausted… But he forced himself to keep fighting, trying to get back to Allison. Life was unfair but death, or whatever this was, couldn’t be… He could not leave without at least kissing Allison once more… The pain in his chest was too much. “I love you.”
“I love you too, I always have and will… Scott McCall.”
Her voice was distant and echoed just as the memory of Stiles’s voice before had done and her words knocked the breath right out of him, hitting him as though… As though someone has just pounded upon his chest…
The force of the blow also knocked the vision of a distant Allison away, his mind snapping back to reality and his eyes flashed open. The physical pain from his wounds was back, his entire body aching, and a new mixture of emotions washed over him. He could see his Mom leaning over him and Mason just off to his other side staring at him with wide eyes he let out an instinctive howl, its notes laced with a mixture of the pain of loss he felt and the triumph of his revival.